Where do you see when you walk? (Photo Essay)

Where do you see when you walk? (Photo Essay)

Junsuk Lee

<Polaris>

Sometimes I feel like everything is so vague. I feel like I'm walking on a cloud. Try not to fall, I always lowered my head and looked at the path just in front of my toes. In that way, I was able to be ensured that I'm actually 'walking', and I'm not falling to the ground.

These sentences may seem abstract, but these describe my behavior towards life at my very best. People say in life there are three kinds of goals which you can look up to and aim for. First is long-term goal, second is mid-term goal, and the last is short-term goal. Above these three kinds of goals, I only aimed at the last one: short-term goal. Maybe it was because long-term goal and mid-term goal seemed so vague. Maybe it's because I felt insecure just to look at long-term goals. I only had one pair of eyes, so to choose from those, I only aimed at short-term goals, until there was a change in my life at middle school.

So basically what I did in my middle school was just focusing on what was given by teachers. I tried to participate in class, do well on given projects, get good scores on given exams. What they just asked me was quite simple, and after finishing what was given, I went  out and hung around with my friends, usually heading to karaoke or PC room. Yes. I was passive. I didn't really had concerns about what I'm going to be at future. All that mattered to me was the present.

But fortunately, there was a strong impulse from the heaven. A series of coincidence that led me to KMLA were given in my path and captured my very narrow perspective. I unintentionally was able to be a member in Korean debate team of my school, and that year, surprisingly being fortunate, middle school debate competition managed by the mayor of the Namyangju city was first held. Because it was the first competition held ever, it was quite easy to acquire the high place. And also thanks to the other two excellent members in my team, I was lucky to get the first place in the first held Namyangju city middle school debate competition.

Then, based on the first place we've acquired on city-level competition, I was able to participate in provincial debate competition. Already expected, it was much harder than city-level competition. After having a rigorous debate with Chung-Shim International Middle-school, we decisively lost and had to be satisfied getting the 4th place.

Those coincidence was already too much for me. However, it didn't stop as the phone bell rang to my adviser teacher from Chung-Shim middle school after a year passed from those fortunes. They asked me and my teammates to join their debate team going out for KMLA Middle School Debate Contest, since it required four members. They said they got good impression of us at the competition, and called us when the members were needed. One of three members in each team now had graduated, so without fight we four had united and went again to the ruthless battlefield; this time, as allies.

I'd say this time it was very unlucky because we only got 4th place. Every team in the debate said that we deserve the first place, but somehow we couldn't satisfy the evaluators and only had to cease our march at the semi-final.

But the matter of getting the first place or fourth place is not important here. What is important is that somehow the impulse of coincidence led me to look at KMLA. A bunch of series of coincidence led me to actually see KMLA and dream of myself going to KMLA. I even had insomnia because I couldn't stop thinking about the life of KMLA and preparing for the entrance interview. Other than playing guitar, it was the first goal I actively dreamed of. It was my first mid-term goal.

So my sight had been upraised. I was now trying to see a little bit more than what was given at my toes. I now aimed for mid-term goal: going to KMLA. For the first few months, it was so hard to manage to look at both goals. I had to focus on the study for KMLA math and Korean language contest while getting high enough scores on my current school. But after finally getting the entrance letter from KMLA, I now got used to it, and now searched for the profound goal: the long-term goal.

As it always did, the coincidence again happened upon me. On my usual way to home from school, I saw a poor street-food selling old man. He was selling sugar cookie (뽑기/Bbob-Ki). Seeing this old man had so much importance on my life and on my vision, because I saw a little printed title in his bike: "National Honorees".

As far as I know, the title "National Honorees" was only given to people who almost sacrificed their lives. And the man in front of me earned that title. But looking at his status quo, I just couldn't understand this country. How could they treat him like this when he devoted his life for this country? I was very shocked at that moment that I even still remember the menu and the price of sugar cookies; 1 for 300 won and 3 for 800 won. I didn't know anything for sure, but I knew something was wrong. This surely inspired me and led me to have interest in politics. This was the seed for my profound thoughts about what I am going to be when I go up. And because of big influence this had on my mind, I sort of became muckrakers and dreamed of myself at future changing my nation. From this moment, I settled up my mind and found my own long-term goal: becoming the President of South Korea.

And that picture is related to my ambitious long-term goal. On the winter of 2011, I fortunately had a chance to go to Yeoido Youth Forum for students who are interested in politics, and was lucky to go to National Assembly of Korea. That picture above is the picture that I've taken in National Assembly. The background image is a imitation of the office of the President. It was just a imitation. Yet, I felt something overwhelming my entire body, and came to have confidence at my marathon to achieve my long-term goal.

Still, nothing changed. Still my long-term goal, becoming the President of South Korea,  is ambiguous because of its significance and its characteristic. There are no such things as guidelines or degrees to become the President. You have to make up your own way. However, I am now able to manage to look at short-term goals, mid-term goals, long-term goals at the same time. Sequentially looking at all three goals one by one was what I found as a solution to manage three goals at the same time. Whenever I become lazy or obsessed with current problems, I try to look at my long-term goal and shave myself again to achieve my bright future. I sometimes use this photo as a mean to keep me conscious and restrain myself from being lazy. Walking with your eyes only focused right in front of your toes may prevent you from falling, but it wouldn't lead you to anywhere. You at least need Polaris to find your current location and final destination. And this photo is a compass and Polaris for my ambitious goal.