Ode to Love

Dear Love,

I don’t know how long it has been since from the last time I called your name. It’s been too long that I can’t remember. Because you are so famous and seems like everyone around the world knows you a lot, I merely had a chance to talk with you. Of course, it was also my fault to have lazy relationship with you. I also was afraid to be caught by anyone while talking to you. It’s not that I am ashamed of being a friend of you; I was afraid of prejudices people will have after hearing our relationship that the man like me would ever get to be a friend of you; it seem odd even for me. I seem quite cold, ruthless and rough, you know. On the other hand, you are the perfect opposite of me. I too sometimes wonder how a man like me could have been a friend of you.

I think I met you first when I was in fifth grade of elementary school. Before then, I heard about you indirectly by hearing other people talking about you. Back then, you were told to be quite romantic, cool, and awesome. In fact, that was the reason why I never reached you before: I thought only handsome boys and beautiful girls were allowed to be friends of you. I knew myself a lot, and I knew that I don’t fulfill those requirements to be your friend. But suddenly, you came to me without a knock. I remember it was a girl in my class who introduced you to me. You girls came to me so fast that I couldn’t even blink my eyes, but also you girls vanished within a second. That sure made me to wonder a lot about you, and it didn’t take long for me to know that your first name is “lonely”.

Ever since then I searched for you so eagerly, but you never even showed your shadow. Now that I try to walk away, you show up your faces. Ah, you complicated one!

Maybe you came to me now to hear my explanation about hiding your existence from my people. Well, as I said before, I am too shy and you are too famous to be revealed. I thought confronting you in front of everyone would hurt both of us. Seems like not satisfied about my explanation, huh?

OK! I admit that I was too selfish. I was so selfish that I didn’t reveal you because I didn’t want to get hurt. But please know that the concern of making you hurt was also the reason for my hesitation to reveal your existence.

Now answer my question. Why do you always easily fall into people who smile at me? That makes me really hard to find you. Please just don’t hang around a lot. Please just stick to one place. Also, please be clear at least to me. In case of revealing you, I must at least know where you are. But having you as a friend throughout several years, I realized that you don’t really be clear to me. I am afraid that someday I might lose you. Of course I will be searching for you whether I want or not, but let’s go easy way. I don’t want to wander around in vain desperately searching for you.

Wow, I never thought I would write a long letter to you like this one. By this letter I think I came one step more close to you. Next time, I hope I can see you eyes to eyes. I’ll buy you full dinner including dessert! Let us see soon!

Your true friend,

Paul JunSuk Lee